Full Circle Midwifery

Tim and Mary Beth Shaw; 4^th baby, 2^nd home birth

For a couple weeks before my due date, I started to have some more serious contractions at night/early morning while sleeping but they would always stop when I got up in the morning. I had them again the morning after my due date (Wednesday) and they were intense enough that I started timing them but they were 20-30 mins apart. But since they were so intense, I decided to get up to see if they would stop like the other days. They continued but not as intensely, so i went about my morning, homeschooling the kids. I’d pause in my reading aloud whenever I had a contraction to breathe through. The kids knew that if my eyes were closed, to just quietly leave me alone until it passed. The contractions at this point in the late morning were in the teens/20s mins apart, but by lunch time and a shower later, they were getting closer together and more intense. I had put my husband on notice in case he needed to change some plans and come home, and I was in contact with the midwives. I didn’t want to get my kids expectations up, but I said “today MIGHT be the day” so we worked on cleaning up the house and getting some things done just in case.

Patrice encouraged me to nap since I had been up early. I was annoyed at first because of course there was so much to do if this was real labor, but I knew she was right. I gave my kids a few things to do, my husband assured me he’d do whatever was left, and I was able to lay down for a couple hours and doze off a few times. Contractions slowed down but were really intense again when I did have them (something about laying down!).

When I got up in the late afternoon, the contractions picked back up in frequency and started getting closer together. We had dinner and I was able to eat some. After this, active labor seems to have started and contractions went under 10 mins.

I sat on my ball and tried to find comfortable positions, which ended up being standing or kneeling leaning over things (which I did the whole labor). By 6-7pm my contractions were 5 mins apart and I was vocalizing through them and the midwives asked if I was ready for them. I agreed for them to come because things seemed to be going fast. I knew things could slow down, but they could also keep picking up, like they had been, and I knew they each had a 45-60 min drive. I also had my sister come hang out with my kids for some extra support so she made her way over.

My kids were at Awana all evening, so I had a quiet evening laboring, swaying to worship music, praying over my birth and baby, sucking on a popsicle, focusing on relaxing. My husband was getting some things done around the house to prepare while checking in with me. The midwives got there about 8:15. I was actively laboring, the contractions were close together and were so intense (i stopped timing at some point). I was so uncomfortable but couldn’t find a better position other than standing over the bed or bathroom counter. They were having issues getting the pool ready, but all that was going on in the background and I tried to not focus on that.

Although I tried to stay focused and relaxed, things were so intense that I kept asking about the pool. I knew there were issues, but I was beyond ready for some relief. I finally got in it about 10pm, and I think I transitioned about this time. Once I got in, the hot water was a welcome relief. I had a few minutes break from the contractions and then they picked back up in intensity and transitioned to pushing contractions.

It was just my husband and I alone in the room, with twinkle lights. A very soothing, relaxed atmosphere. During this time, I began losing my mental strength and focus. I asked my husband to read of some affirmations/reminders I had written down before hand. I needed some reminders to focus on because I was struggling internally to think of the the things I should be. He started to read and when a contraction came I would hold up a finger and focus on one or two things he had just said that stood out to me. The contractions shifted to pushing contractions- I could tell there was more downward pressure and started to be overpowering, while also making me feeling powerful. I had decided beforehand not to push until I couldn’t NOT push, I wanted to breathe the baby down and let my body do the work instead of exhausting myself and possibly causing damage.

This part of the labor was very important to me as I had prepared differently for it. I breathed baby down, relaxed as much as possible, summoned as much strength as I could just within myself, and focused on what my husband was reading in order to stay on top of the intensity. I could feel baby moving down with each contraction. My husband kept asking me if I was ready for the midwives to come in, but I kept saying “after this next contraction” or “two more contractions first”. I guess I was worried if a group of people came in, that it might through my focus off. Soon though, the contractions were getting so overpowering that I was no longer vocalizing low through them, but , knowing baby was SO close, I was starting to feel so powerful and primal. I started to growl through the contractions- kind of “I am woman, hear me roar”. the end was so close and I could feel it, and I was summoning all my strength to do this.

The midwife team heard this and rushed to the door, and after the next contraction, they came in- at the perfect time! After a couple more contractions, baby was crowning. Melinda was wonderful and guided me through the ring of fire and birthing the head. The only pushing I did was 1-2 big pushes at the end to birth the head. It took a few minutes for him to rotate  but then he came out just after 11pm , healthy and alert and ready to snuggle mom! Such a relief and I have never felt so empowered in all my life. It was my best birth!

And He was 9lbs 14oz- my biggest baby by far! The placenta took a while to come out, it was also very large (makes sense why my pregnancy was so hard haha) But I only tore a tiny bit and it wasn’t an issue. My kids were able to be in the room as soon as he was born and I was so thankful to share those first moments with them! the next few hours were filled with such love and excitement. I love that Patrice sat on the kitchen floor at 1 am showing the kids the placenta. That’s something they’ll never forget! Quite a homeschool lesson! 

This was a beautiful birth in so many ways! I am so thankful to the wonderful birth team and their amazing care! It was a redeeming experience after a difficult miscarriage but in many other ways as well, and it was very transforming for me. Every prayer that I prayed regarding the birth was answered, even to the beautiful snowfall that I woke up to the next morning! Such wonderful memories from that night and we’re so thankful for our sweet baby boy, Ezra!